Problem-Solving Through Honesty

Source: ConvergenceCoaching, LLC Inspired Ideas

The following includes excerpts, reproduced with permission, of a blog entry by Tamera Loerzel.

The courage to talk straight is one of the most transformative behaviors that leaders undertake to deepen their relationships and produce results within their teams. And yet, so many of us resist talking straight.

I encourage you to memorize the phrase “expectation, observation, inquiry, stop.” It's become a mantra for me, and while I am not perfect, it does help me get centered when the need to talk straight arises and gives me a “formula” to help me put the words together for the communication I need to deliver.

One example that demonstrates how to set up your conversation using “expectation, observation, inquiry” is, “I expect that each of our partners will adhere to our core value of respect in our interactions. Instead, you often appear disrespectful in our partner meetings – talking over others, raising your voice, or making hurtful comments. What do you think is driving that behavior?”

Then, when you “stop” and listen, others can share their thoughts. This allows you to understand their perspective and gain new insights that you may not have had before as to why the situation exists. It also helps if you share your commitment – whether to the person, a client, or a common goal. Doing so will help you center yourself on why you're engaging in straight talk and the common bond you and the other person have.

Then you have to ask for help in developing a solution and be sure you stop and listen again. You may have to have several conversations, and that's okay. Reiterate your commitment and agree on what you're both going to do to resolve the matter.

For the complete article, read “The Gift of Truth.”

From Convergence Coaching, LLC Inspired Ideas, http://blog.convergencecoaching.com, August 3, 2011.